I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you had me at cake vodka
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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