My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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