hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
