Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize