I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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