I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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