do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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