I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
