He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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