Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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