Non-Jews are for practice
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize