they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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