I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
