No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
