i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
