Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
