I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home