just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic