I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.