you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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