Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
