are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He did a backflip because drugs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
