Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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