He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
