Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
