EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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