I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize