I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
