We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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