omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
