I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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