How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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