he thought i was a dude.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
