What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
