Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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