but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
