if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
