I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you inspire me to be a worse person
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
