my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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