no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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