Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
someone owes me an orgasm
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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