Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
