We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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