if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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