All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
