ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
