a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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