Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
