the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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