a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
These tits shall not be calmed
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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