We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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