I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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