Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize