Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
