What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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