Sponge bath it is.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize