Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
