Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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